Halloween TV

So everyone is unleashing their Halloween episodes this week and I have to say so far I'm a little dissapointed. Its almost over and the highlight has been Sylvia Brown on Montel yesterday.( she is always on Weds so technically not a special occasion) Yesterday was about a brave (read "stupid") woman who has a bed and breakfast in Lizzie Bordons's house where she hatcheted her family to death. Evidently she actually makes money at this venture. People really WANT to vacation there. Odd.

Oh and its very haunted. Duh.

I miss the days of the Roseanne caliber Halloween episodes where they went all out. Totally not PC. Scaring the shit out of neighbors with fake murder scenes and throwing crazy Halloween parties. Fake blood, all sorts of site gags, great costume ideas. Love it.

On honorable mention this weeks goes to BONES. They went about their procederal business solving murders but in costume. Temperence Brennan as Wonder Woman was great. Kudos to Hart Hansen for bringing us this great ep. Check out the clip of it in my CLIP OF THE WEEK.

So Now I am off to hang with my kids. Maybe have some Halloween candy for breakfast.

Dirty Sexy Money Is Awesome!

The only thing I like about fall is new TV and this has to be my new fave show. It's about this uberrich New York family (The Darlings) and their crazy dramas. Dirty Sexy Money is like Dynasty on acid. Funny, over the top, and everything the title says.

Top Ten Reasons To Check Out Dirty Sexy Money...
1)I love Donald Sutherland but when the Hell did he get so old?
2)Any Baldwin is a good Baldwin
3)Sex Tapes are always funny... as are trannies!
4)Two girls who throw punches over bangs are bitches I wanna hang with!
5)Kareoke on the Brooklyn Bridge in your underwear can be fun!
6)Priests are horny bastards!
7)Blaire Underwood is way hotter than he ever was on L.A Law or Cosby Show.
8)Yes Blaire underwood was on the Cosby Show. Denise's date. Look it up.
9) Becasue Orphans are so out of style and rarely housebroken.
10)What esle do you have to do after Private Prcatice on Wed Nights at 10pm.

I mean it, check it out! Watch the clip and see!

Sawyer's My Kind of Man!

Oh thank you for having Sawyer in last night's eposide of Lost. I love that man! He is totally my type - rugged, HOT HOT HOT, funny, SEXY AS HELL, sarcastic and he loves TV!

How do I know he loves TV? Hello! All his one line references. Last night - he said the A-Team took all the guns. My all time favorite when he made the excuse of assocaiting the clean slate with Little House on Praire, because he had mono as a kid and only got one TV channel in his trailor.

His one liners and the nicknames crack me up calling Hurley - Grimmace, International House of Pancakes, Snuffy and Jumbotron! Or Charilie - Oliver Twist, the munchkin or Jiminy Cricket. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for Sun and Jin. Oh I could go on and on. Then he lost at ping pong and had to give up calling people by nickname. How long is that going to last? I need the nicknames back.

And how about when Sawyer was teaching Jin to speak English and he taught him the only three things a woman needs to hear. Does anyone remember what they were?

Yes, Sawyer has his faults but who doesn't. Personally they make him even more sexy to me!

"So this is where the tragic happens"

I am still rolling on the floor laughing from last nights UGLY BETTY. How awesome was a Marc centric episode!!! What an awesome idea to pair March & Betty together! His nicknames were priceless - chimmichunga, toquito. And the two of them with the flash cards!!! I cannot decide who had more fun with the Marc/Betty relationship. The family or others??? Even Daniel joined in by asking if he had popped the question yet. Justin even got to play along.

I felt bad for Amanda - being dumped even if it was a "fake" relationship. But how awesome is she!!?? "So you are saying we are over and I'm fat" "that was a real scare you idiot, it just wasn't yours"

And Patti LuPone - what a great guest star to such a subperb cast. And nice tie-in with the cats (she stared in CATS on Broadway) I loved her adjective for Justin - "Swishy". Go Marc for telling her off.

Some of the best classic lines were last nights ep. I wish I could remember them all!

"Your mom does not know your gay? It's just that you're . .so sparkly"

"I keep waiting for Mr. Rooper to show up"

"I've had better Monday and better jewelry"

I wish UGLY BETTY was on more than once a week! I need the laughs!!!

The Office: I'm Ready For Some Pam and Jim!

Thank God that most of my fave shows have quit with the rerun bull shit. After Feb sweeps there was a good few weeks that there was no Office. I early died. The last episode Pam told Roy about her and Jim kissing, I'm ready to see the repercussions!

Pam and Jim I think are the best anti-couple ever. I say "anti" because they are not your average prime time duo. They aren't overly sexy, or obvious. They are just cute. I would love to a big office drama between Roy and Jim, perhaps a war of words, a few punches thrown. Karen gets mad (although I have to say I like her. Did you know she is the daughter of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton?") Maybe Andy can be back from the anger management classes that didn't help and he can punch another hole in the wall. Maybe Mike and Jan can give some couples counceling to the pair. And Dwight, well, he needs a another secret mission with the CIA. How funny is that guy! And what if Kelly cheated on Ryan with one of the guys in the warehouse. Even ROY! Now that would be a serious drama!

Anyway, Its the end of season three, and I'm ready for some Jim and Pam. I am offically a "Shipper". Anyway the writers do it it, I'm okay with. I'm just so glad the epsiode is new!

No More Reality

So I get all snuggly in my flannel pj's and sit down to escape reality and watch good TV. But no - what do I find but the 4 millionth episode in a row of American Idol and it is in place of one of my favorite shows - Bones!! So since I am not an AI fan at all, could care less that Simon is an ass, Paula is drunk, stoned or just mental and well Randy, I don't know. All the show proves is that most of America cannot sing. So anyhow, I decide I will watch some meaniless HighSchool drama. So I turn it to the WB (ok it is the CW now - but don't get me started on that!) to watch One Tree Hill. BUT NO!!! Reality strikes again and we are now looking for the next 'Pussycat Doll'

Well THANK GOD America!!!!!! Cuz I gotta say last awards show I watched - think it was the Grammys. I saw the Pussycat Dolls perform and I thought to myself - 'know what they need? Another girl to run around stage and pretend to sing and dance!" Glad the Reality TV world was inside my brain.

I want my normal TV back!! No more Supernanny, Wifeswap, Search for the next - American Idol, Pussycat Doll, Coyote Ugly, country singer, celebrity dancer, island survivor, apprentice, etc. I want good Comedy and Drama, I want to laugh and cry in a facticous world! Are you with me America?


Oh P.S. - I do have a concept in mind for a new reality show - America votes on who gets to be Baby Daniellynn's dad. Put Larry, Howard, Prince Von Idiot and others on stage and make then do fatherly tasks - Supernanny can be one of the judges!!!!

Oh and PPS - When is cute Ty Pennington coming to build me a house?

Where Have the Irish Been?

Love the Irish Mob!!!!! And just in time for St. Patty's Day! Why has there not been more TV shows with the Irish mob? We have our Italians - even the Russians sometimes but where have the Irish been?

"The Irish have always been the victims of negative stereotype. I mean people think we're all drunks and brawlers, and sometimes that gets you so mad, all you want to do is get drunk and punch somebody. " - Joey Ice Cream narrates.

In case you are wondering I am speaking about the new show on NBC - The Black Donnelly's. Now that there has been two episodes I am hooked. Though I must say that Joey Ice Cream is starting to get on my nerves. Loved him in the pilot - how about the detective smacking him across the head with the book? However the second episode - how does he know everything - I like him narrating but when he all of a sudden would appear in the scene??!!?? I know you all are going to say that he is the comic relief for this serious and violent show. Which he is and there are great scenes such as in the bar when Tommy asks "when did he get here and did you pay for that beer? "

Kevin - I want Kevin as a brother. He has some of the best lines and facial expressions such as when he is looking for the randsom money behind the bar that Jimmy hid and makes the comment about why is everyone being sarcastic with him. Wish I could remember the line!!! Anyone???

How about that Dokey guy and his ax??? Wow is he scary?????

Why No Wonder Years?

So last week I was in Target and I was browsing in the DVD release isle and I saw that Bible Man had all four seasons released on DVD. (Congrats that there was even one season for that) and I started thinking about all the shows that aren't out there yet that I would like to see.

How about my husband's favorite, The Wonder Years. You remember Winnie Cooper and Paul the nerd and everyone called each other a Butthead and they played great classic rock tunes.

Now that I think of it, thats probably why its not out. The music rights. Thats what took Moonlighting so long.

Anyway, the show was great. I love Fred Savage. I actually have talked to him a bunch of times on the phone before. One of my coworkers when I was lifeguarding was really good friends with him when they both went to Stanford University. I didn't believe it was him when he first called the pool, so I asked him what Winnie Coopers real name was to prove himself. He laughed and said "Asks me a tough one. Danica Mckleller!" He was really nice. He also said that she went by Dani from time to time and thats what I was called when I worked at the pool and it confused him.

True story.

Anyway, I want to see the Wonder Years. The Hell with Bible Man!

Paula Is Not A Drunk!

I am not a huge fan of American Idol, but I have to say I love the try outs. Are the judges mean?Absolutely, but what do these tone deaf people expect? So they are told that they suck. They get ten minutes air time on national TV perhaps a shot at a future exploitation for a lot of money.

Remember that Asian kid who made a ton of money who sucked so bad? Stickin' rich.

If I were the producers at American Idol I would encourage the judges to be meaner. I also would like it to be more of a freak show than it already is. How about a Yodelling Catagory? And what about a siamese twin catagory where they have to sing duets all the time. NOW THATS Entertainment.

Which brings me back to Paula. I think she should be drunk! Whats wrong with that? In fact I think they all should be. That how you know a person really sucks. If they want to make you gouge your eyes out completely lit, then they'll make you want to kill your self when you are sober. Bring on Idol!

Jean's Favorite Lines From This Past Week of TV

I often find myself repeating lines of TV shows at the randomest times. Below are some of my favorites from this past of week of TV.

"Austin't not gay - even after three beers", Andrew, Desperate Housewives Jan. 5th

"Hey - you banned me from your opening", Lynette, Desperate Housewives Jan. 14th. She says this to her husband who wants sex after he told her she could not attend the opening of his new pizza parlor.

"Your love your Wang", Ugly Betty, Jan. 11th (don't remember you said it)

"You buy, I'm sexual", Stripper, Ugly Betty, Jan. 11th

Boob Tube, Baby!!!

Hey! So Jean and I go way back and we both share a great love for television. From Lifetime movies to rodeo on the Outdoor Channel, we watch it all. Starting this week we will be blogging on all things tube! Check back Tuesday for our Golden Glode Review!